Re: tsk tsk tsk...press releases

[df@mech.mb.uni-dortmund.de (Dirk Froehling)]

In article <625qr7$g77$1@scapa.cs.ualberta.ca>, glyn@cs.ualberta.ca (Devin
Reade) wrote:

[about Tenne-C]

Oh, oh, I guess we will be thrown out...

Here is some more:

 ================================
 SHOOTING YOURSELF IN THE FOOT
 ================================

 C: You shoot yourself in the foot.

 C++: You accidentally create a dozen instances of yourself and
 shoot them all in the foot. Providing medical assistance is
 impossible since you can't tell which are bitwise copies and
 which are just pointing at others and
 saying "That's me, over there."

 FORTRAN: You shoot yourself in each toe, iteratively, until you
 run out of toes, then you read in the next foot and repeat.
 If you run out of bullets, you continue anyway because you
 have no exception-handling abilities.

 Modula-2: After realizing that you can't actually accomplish
 anything in this language, you shoot yourself in the head.

 COBOL: USEing a COLT 45 HANDGUN, AIM gun at LEG.FOOT,
 THEN place ARM.HAND.FINGER on HANDGUN.TRIGGER and
 SQUEEZE. THEN return HANDGUN to HOLSTER. CHECK
 whether shoelace needs to be retied.

 LISP: You shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun
 with which you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the
 gun with which you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds
 the gun with which you shoot yourself in the appendage which
 holds the gun with which you shoot...

 BASIC: Shoot yourself in foot with water pistol. On big systems,
 continue until entire lower body is waterlogged.

 FORTH: Foot in yourself shoot.

 APL: You shoot yourself in the foot, then spend all day figuring
 out how to do it in fewer characters.

 Pascal: The compiler won't let you shoot yourself in the foot.

 SNOBOL: If you succeed, shoot yourself in the left foot. If you
 fail, shoot yourself in the right foot.

 Concurrent Euclid: You shoot yourself in somebody else's foot.

 HyperTalk: Put the first bullet of the gun into left foot of you.
 Answer the result.

 Motif: You spend days writing a UIL description of your foot, the
 trajectory, the bullet and the intricate scrollwork on the ivory
 handles of the gun, When you finally get around to pulling the
 trigger, the gun jams.

 Unix: & Is foot.c foot.h foot.o toe.c toe.o % rm *.o: No such
 file or directory % Is %

 XBase: Shooting yourself is no problem. If you want to shoot
 yourself in the foot, you'll have to use Clipper.

 Paradox: Not only can you shoot yourself in the foot, your users
 can too.

 Revelation: You'll be able to shoot yourself in the foot just as
 soon as you figure out what all these bullets are for.

 Visual Basic: You'll shoot yourself in the foot, but you'll have
 so much fun doing it that you won't care.

 Prolog: You tell your program you want to be shot in the foot.
 The program figures out how to do it, but the syntax doesn't
 allow it to explain.

 370 JCL: You send your foot down to MIS with a 4000-page document
 explaining how you want it to be shot. Three years later, your
 foot comes back deep-fried.

-- 
| Dirk Froehling - Germany, Uni Dortmund, FB Maschinenbau, LS Mechanik |
|                  df@mech.mb.uni-dortmund.de                          |