csa2 chronicles: the ashes of eden

[pubpc17@library.ucla.edu]

A lone user stumbles into comp.sys.apple2, hoping for an answer to a
problem when he is attacked by raving lunatics.

<Dr. Tom>  Hey you!  Are you putting down Scantron QC?
<User #1>  What?  All I'm trying to do is save a MOD file with
        NoiseTracker GS v2.0.
<Dr. Tom>  Eh, shut up, you VOGEN!
<User #1>  Excuse me. [the poor user tries to get away from Charlie
        when he runs into Nate]
<Nathan Mates>  What's up?
<User #1>  Just looking for some help?
<Nathan Mates>  Did you read the FAQ or were you too stupid to?
<User #1>  What?
<Nathan Mates>  Oh alright, what's the question?
<User #1>  Well, I'm trying to save a MOD file with NoiseTracker GS
        v2.0.
<Nathan Mates>  You're with 1WSW?  Sector editing f***
<User #1>  I'm getting out of here! [as the user tries to get away, he
        runs into Steve Mentzer...he has no clothes...you can see
        everything]
<Steve Mentzer>  Take a look at my WARES!
<User #1>  Help, I'm surrounded by madmen!

[Nathan Mates comes running back, pointing at Mentzer's "wares"]

<Nathan Mates>  I see it, you filthy pig!
<Steve Mentzer>  I WANTED you to see it!
<Dr. Tom>  Vogen!

[The user makes another attempt to escape, finally reaching a door, he
pounds on it frantically.  The people on the other side quickly let him
out.]

<User #2>  What were you doing in there?
<User #1>  I just wanted to ask a question when I was attacked by those
        animals.
<User #2>  I'm afraid you found comp.sys.apple2's insane asylum.  There
        are still plenty of people here willing to help.  We had to
        isolate those three because of their schizophrenic episodes.
        If you skip over posts by the several key flamers (Dr. T.,
        Nate, Steve Mentzer, and Sam Ismail), you'll be fine.
<User #1>  I'll try [adjusting his newsreader to filter out the flamers]
        ...things actually sound sane again!  No more flames!

[The new User #1 asks many questions.  He gets many answers in return.
Slowly his knowledge grows.  He is happy.  Over time, he answers
questions from many new users and gives them the useful hint of skipping
over posts from the known flamers.  One day, many years later, he was
curious and searched for old posts from the flamers that he never read.
He found hundreds of flames from Nate telling him his questions were
stupid and assuming he didn't read the FAQ.  He found hundreds of flames
from Dr. T. calling him a Vogen.  Steve Mentzer tried to flash his
"wares" countless times.  He is thankful he never read those messages,
else he would have left csa2 long ago and abandoned the Apple II.  Now
he runs into a bitter man sitting on a bench.  He goes to talk to the
guy to find out what is wrong...]

<Man>  What do you want?
<User #1>  To help.  What's wrong?
<Man>   I used to like to help people.  But whenvever I asked for help
        or tried to give it, I would be flamed.  FAQ this, FAQ that.
        Vogen this, Vogen that.  After a while, I just got tired of it,
        traded in my II for a PC and told everyone to f*** off!

[As User #1 walks away from the broken man he realizes how many people
the stupid flame wars have driven away from the Apple II.  He thinks
of how different it would be if everyone were helpful rather than
insulting.  In the end, one question is left in his mind.


                                WHY?                                   ]