csa2 chronicles part 2

[pubpc1@library.ucla.edu]

[Eons passed in the land of comp.sys.apple2 since Nathan Mates had set the
inhabitants into flames.  The four corners of the world had been conquered
and now the tyrant looked to new worlds.  He ordered his minions to build
a warship and ventured out to new conquests.]

<Nathan Mates>  I've conquered csa2, forced the religion of FAQs on
     my subjects, and now I want more.  I want to flame OTHER newsgroups!
<Harold>  Sir, we are approaching a landmass.
          Continent: comp.emulators.apple2   Country: Asimov
<Nathan Mates>  Open a comm channel
<Harold>  Opened.
<Nathan Mates>  We are Crusaders for the cause of FAQ.  I am the god of
     FAQs.  Bow to me!
<Sam Ismail>  Never!
<Nathan Mates>  The Legal FAQ says I own your land!  Bow to me!
<Sam Ismail>  So, I'm a lawyer.
<Nathan Mates>  F*** off, pal.  Harold, fire port flamethrowers!
<Harold>  But sir, their defenses are too strong.  If we attack now, we
     will be slaughtered.
<Nathan Mates>  You are a coward.  [Takes out his flamethrower and pumps
     six rounds into his general's chest.]
<Nathan Mates>  Now let's get back to business.  The Mother of All Crusades
     has begun!

[In the initial attack, the forward provinces of Asimov fell to Nate's
F*** B.I. troopers.  Nathan Mates set the landscape ablase and flamed all
the inhabitants.  But as total defeat loomed, the Users of Emulators
rallied and formed a Coalition.  Supplied by the arms pirate, Dr. Tom,
they used ice guns to neutralize Nate's flamethrowers and pushed the
Crusaders back within the very borders of comp.sys.apple2.]

<Nathan Mates>  F*** off! (Smoke)
<Dr. Tom>  Nananananan (Ice)
<Nathan Mates>  Shut up! (Smoke)
<Sam Ismail>  Nanananana (Ice)

[Finally, it was time to sue for peace.  Comp.sys.apple2 was a defeated
land and a respected figure negotiated a truce.]

<Steve Wozniak>  I am the Goodwill Ambassador.  Have peace, dear Apple
     users.

[But some didn't believe...]

<Auri>  Don't listen to him, he's not really Steve Wozniak.

[The Goodwill Ambassador, though, succeeded in settling peace.  Now the
Tyrant of csa2 is silent, except to make noises once in a while.  The
last incident was when, on the excuse of Joe Kohn selling Ms. Packman,
Nate made a push to the North with the Republican Flamers led by Jack
Kemp.  This attempt was crushed by cruise ice missiles supplied by
Dr. Tom's pirates.]