FlameStation XL - your XL flamethrower is here!

[GUDATH@EZINFO.VMSMAIL.ETHZ.CH (Henrik 'Ratte' Gudat)]

Contact:
NETburner Labs
gudath@ubaclu.unibas.ch


                      EXPERIENCE THE REALMS OF FLAMING

Basel/Switzerland -- 8/10/96 -- Shortly after swamping cyperspace with a first
release, the pond creatures at NETburner Labs introduced today the most
sophisticated flamin' tool ever - FlameStation XL 2.0.

Seeking the sort of coat-tail riding that third-party manufacturers use in
regard to Microsloth Windoze, the docs writer for 2qwk! (the *only* 8-bit Apple
// offline reader) will now be slapping stickers on outgoing 2qwk! 2.x archives
which say "Compatable with FlameStation". "This sure makes flaming easy," 
scribe Mushroom reports, "and it's simple enough to use with 2qwk! that even
Fidonetters can operate it!" He also has tested FlameStation with 16-bit
TM.QWK "because I had it laying around and *had* to know if the competition 
could hack it too."
  
FlameStation XL is a highly reactive piece of cake. The dictionary has been
enhanced somehwat, giving any lame soul the opportunity to say what s/he always
wanted to say but never dared to. Or never knew s/he wanted to. "Thanks to
FlameStation it is now safe for even a timid soul like me to post messages",
wrote an excited netizen shortly before other FlameStation users broke into his
account. 

Besides that, more braindead functions have been added to FlameStation's
fragile skeleton. For better compatibility with some d00dz, the limit of 5 
Ph.D.s has been raised to a whopping doctor six-pack. (Some even claim they're
carrying 7 titles - warning: the seventh Ph.D. is FAKED.) Furthermore, 
dullheads with limited memory will enjoy FlameStation's "Save" feature for 
storing pathetic flames in lame text files. To prevent juvenile fleaheads from 
reading profane messages, optional ROT13 scrambling should calm down worried 
parents.

FlameStation will radically change the Net - thanks to message IDs. Dr. Bozo,
project leader and chief operator of the in-house cocktail bar, states that
"FlameStation XL will revolutionize the way how dweebs will use the Internet.
With NETburner IDs, you can pack everything you have to say into 10 or 20
characters. This greatly reduces bandwidth and hides offensive content from our
younger friends, your enemies of tomorrow."

FlameStation XL now also contains a F-word randomizer for sounding less
repetitive. "Since version 2 is using more than two F-words, most people will
think the flames originate from a brain with Master's degree. iT W0Rkz!"

Bright Suckware / NETburner Labs is a leading provider of real-world
application that push your productivity and bandwidth to the limit and way 
beyond. FlameStation once again proves that we are committed to fringe groups
and allow anyone to pretend that he's so dense that light bends around him.

FlameStation. The only flamethrower for any lifeform with moving parts.


-- the fine print ----

Fl