MEET GIRLIES! BE POPULAR! GET LAID!

["Stroker Ace" <stroker@ace.net>]

Were you rejected by your peers in high school?

Did you stay at home every Friday night, pining for friends, lovers, and 
companionship?

Were you an acne-riddled mess?

Do you masturbate regularly, dreaming of friends, friends' sisters,
friends' 
mothers, and others, only to be filled with guilt afterwards?

If any of these fit your profile, Stroker Ace Technologies has the product

for you!

In April of 1996, Stroker Ace Technologies unveiled the latest in
peripherals for 
the geek who has everything - a revolutionary product called "A Life".
Unbeknownst 
to many computer users like you, there are things out there besides USENET
news, and
the STROK6969-N ("A Life") can help you get in touch with them.

Satisfied customer Matthew Carlson says:

	"The STROK6969-N changed my life. Before I got a "Life", I hid behind 
	pathetic anonymous forgeries on comp.sys.apple2. What I couldn't admit to
	myself was that I was always sexually attracted to Jawaid Bazyar. Now
that
	I have a "Life", Jawaid and I are living together happily in a mountain
	cabin in the woods of Colorado."

You see, my friends?! Stroker Ace Technologies can change your life
forever!

Long-time acid dropper Charles Turley says:

	"I used to claim that I was a doctor on the USENET groups when the only
	degree I had was a master's in domination of prepubescent boys. I used to
	lurk in America Online chat rooms only to lure midwestern preteens to my
	'pad' in Berkeley. The STROK6969-N helped me realize what thousands of
	mind-altering drugs couldn't: that the man I had always loved was none
	other than Joe Kohn. Today we share a two room apartment in Hell's
Kitchen,
	and we have two beautiful golden-haired boys."

The time for you to finally enjoy what you want out of life is here, and
the
company that has brought it to you is Stroker Ace Technologies.

My name is Dave Rhodes and I'm the president of Stroker Ace Technologies.
I'd like
to personally invite you to contact one of our distributors for more
information
on how getting a Life could help you.

Stroker Ace Distributors:

Mark Miller, markm@winternet.com
Nathan Mates, nathan@cco.caltech.edu

This has been a public service announcement brought to you by Stroker Ace
Technologies,
in conjunction with the internet experts at ace.net.

[ END TRANSMISSION. ]

P.S.: I LOVE THE INTERNET!!!