Re: ENDLESS INCOME!

[nathan@cco.caltech.edu (Nathan Mates)]

In article <Cxvy0E.GtH@dfw.net>,  <EVT@alpha.dfw.net> wrote:

   It looks like MAKE.MONEY.FAST (aka LOSE.ACCOUNT.FAST) has found
a new home, one in the bank robbing business :)

>    BE YOUR OWN BOSS AND EARN A LIFETIME RESIDUAL INCOME OF OVER
>                        $200,000 PER YEAR!!

   Hmmm. Rob a bank, get $4000. Get visited by Guido that weekend,
you lose. You made $4000/week, which is a very short lifetime of
200,000/year :)

>
>                     THIS BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY
>                 REQUIRES NO INVENTORY INVESTMENT,
>                          AND TAKES LESS
>                   THAN 1 HOUR PER MONTH TO DO!

   Yeah. How much work is it to go into a bank and say "gimme
everything"?


>----THIS IS THE BEST "NO HASSLE" PART TIME BUSINESS EVER DESIGNED!----
   Definitely. You won't be hassled too much in prison, not until
your cellmate starts calling you 'sugar'.

>HERE ARE SOME HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EXCITING PART TIME BUSINESS:
>*  Get started for less than $30!
   One saturday night special isn't that much, true.

>*  THE INCOME POTENTIAL IS UNLIMITED!!
   And the potential to push up daisies or just do pushups the rest
of your life

>*  No Inventory, No Paperwork, or Quotas!
   Nah. Don't need any of that from Prison

>*  No need to make phone calls, and it's totally discreet!
   Remember: wear a mask with eyeholes.

>*  No need to bother friends or relatives!  Company supplies leads!
   "We'll send you a phone book with the banks circled"

>*  Earn Fabulous, World Wide Vacations from the comfort of your home!
   To Alcatraz, Siberia, and the Sahara, not to mention all of the
neat courthouses

>*  Members enjoy low cost group dental insurance & prescription drugs!
   Get Uncle Sam to pay for it, yeah, I guess that's low cost

>*  EASY TO EARN BIG $$$, anyone can do it!
   Anyone with a positive IQ, you mean. And anyone with an IQ greater
than the square root of their IQ will not do it.

>*  Member's unique investment program, will be your ticket to wealth!
   Invest in a cheap gun, get a bit of money. Big deal. Let's see
you keep it.

>*  No meetings or presentations are necessary!
   Doesn't presenting your gun count?

>*  Members can purchase name brand products near manufacturer's cost!
   If you're looking for a new license plate

>*  Rock-solid, long-term program that will produce a lifetime income!
   3 strikes, and you've got a lifetime job making big rocks smaller.
What more do you want?

>*  YOU CAN MAKE MORE IN ONE MONTH, THAN WORKING ALL YEAR AT A JOB!
   You'll make more the first 5 minutes of a bank robbery than you'll
make in the next year, yeah.


>    FOR FREE INFORMATION,
   But braincells are extra

>    AND A FREE $100 TRAVEL GIFT..........
   "We'll even point you to a different bank than you normally use
so all the tellers won't recognize you"

>    Please send a stamped self-addressed, #10 envelope to:
>                         Endless Income
                          c/o FBI Investigative Services
>                         FT. WORTH, TX. 76124-1469

>PS: PLEASE, IF YOU DO NOT LIKE THIS  POST, GO ON TO THE NEXT!   For
>every one that does not  like it, five do!   Too much bandwidth  is
>waisted by  NET-JERKS discussing  the merits  of everyone's  posts!
>SEND ALL CORRESPONDENCE BY MAIL, AND PLEASE NO E-MAIL, OR FLAME!

   In other words, "I'm too smart for you folks, and if you dare to
flame me, I'LL SPEAK IN ALL CAPS AND CALL YOU A NASTY NAME". Go to
hell, bozo, and you might get off on the excuse of "I left my terminal
unattended" Also, who the f**k are you to call the rest of us jerks?
We use a little more bandwidth discussing things so that 10 bozos
like you don't do this everyday, which is a far better thing. At
least you said "please no flame", but since there's one of you and
lots of us, you'll just have to deal with the flames :)

   I'd like to see even five letters of appreciation from people,
never mind this bogus claim of a 5:1 appreciation ratio. If it's so
great, how about a description why this silly thing works (you forgot
to put in the request for $5 with each envelope, or does that come
next?) or some letters of appreciation from people (other than
yourself) who have gotten this pyramid scheme to work? Bet none of the
references you'll give have a chance of existing.


--- Speaking to the rest of you...

   Rather than simply flaming this bozo to hell, I decided to make
fun of his 'enterprise'. What do you know, my descriptions fit his
claims... :)

   
Nathan Mates
-- Really should get back to homework :)
-- 
* Nathan Mates   http://www.ugcs.caltech.edu/~nathan/               *
* Ftp humor archiver: ftp to cco.caltech.edu, look in pub/humor     *
* "Always listen to experts. They'll tell what can't be done, and   *
*  why. Then do it."  -- Robert A. Heinlein, Lazarus Long           *