Re: Daniel Pfarrer and quoting...

[irsman@iastate.edu (Ian Schmidt)]

[Editor's Note: If you don't watch MST3K, or know what it is, hit 'n' now and
spare yourself some confusion.  It's Friday, and I sure as hell couldn't
resist bait like this...]

<Satellite of Love.  Tom and Crow are trying to install Word for Windows.>

Tom: Here, here, maybe THIS is the disk it wants.  *picks up a disk with his
beak*.

Crow: No, no.  I'm sure it said "Insert disk -102-", not 201.  Now, where IS
disk 102?

<Mike walks out>

Mike: Hiya, guys.  Whatcha doing?

Tom: We're trying to install Word for Windows.  I think it was designed by
Bert I. Gordon.

Crow: Or at least the 'Mr. Phipps' ad agency.

Magic Voice: Commercial Sign in 30 seconds.

Tom: Hey, look, it's Disk 102!

Crow: Where?  Where?

Tom: Ha!  Made you look!

Magic Voice: Commercial Sign in 5..4..3..2..Commercial Sign now.

<Mike hits the button, causing a Mentos commercial followed by 3 minutes of
dead air (Comedy Central strikes again)>.

<Back on the SOL>

Mike: Hey guys, maybe you should let me try that.

Tom: No way.  We're robots, so the least we should be able to do is figure out
a computer.

<Light flashes>

Crow: Uhoh...

Mike: Oh, it's Dr. Scholls and TV's Frank.  [hits the button]

<Deep 13>

Dr. F: In an unprecidented display of stupidity, I've decided to let Frank
plan today's invention.  Frank?

<Frank walks into camera range covered in red latex>

Dr. F: What have you done NOW, you idiot?

Frank: It's the Death Suit.  Now you can look like you've died a bloody death
any time.

Dr. F: Oh.  That's delightful.  Why don't you go run and play now.

<Dr. F mumbles under his breath for a moment>

Dr. F: Okay, Nelson, let's see what you've got.

<SoL>

Mike: Sure.  Today, we've got the transflobmagrifier.

<Deep 13>

Dr. F: The WHAT?

<SoL>

Mike: The transflobmagrifier.  It converts normal ASCII text into
technobabble, or optionally poorly-translated Japanese.  Check this out:

<Mike places a copy of the GS owner's manual into the machine>

Machine: Thank you for instigating a monetary transaction with a positive flow
rate in the direction of Apple Computer, Inc.  We hope that you experience
feelings of pleasure upon the usage of your computer new.

Mike: What do you think, sirs?

<Deep 13>

Dr. F: I think it's the stupidest thing I've ever heard of.  Who'd want such a
thing?

<SoL>

Mike: Corporate writing departments all over the world have already placed
orders for one.

<Deep 13> 

Dr. F: Ahh, should've guessed.  Well, Nelson, we have a special treat for you
today.  A post by the one and only Daniel Pfarrer!  *laughs maniacally*

<SoL>

All: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

<Deep 13>

Dr. F: Happy hurting!  Hahahahahahahahaha!

<SoL. Article Sign lights flash>

All: Ahhhhh, we've got Article Sign!

<>..1..2..3..4..5..6

<Theatre>

In article <Pine.3.07.9401211043.D23365-a100000@cap.gwu.edu> dpfarrer@CAP.GWU.EDU (Daniel Pfarrer) writes:

<Tom leans over towards Mike's chair more>

Tom (whimpering): Mike, save me.

>I like my big .sig! 

Crow: His big WHAT?
Mike (sternly): CROW!
Crow: Oh, sorry.

>It's only 11 lines or so,

Tom: 11?
Tom and Crow: WACKA-WOOOOW!!!
Mike: Guys, I think he means his .signature, not his THAT.
Crow: Sure, whatever you say...

>I guess I'll work on shortening it. 

Tom: Heh heh, maybe a date with Lorena Bobbitt would work for that?  Heehee!
Crow: Ouch. Wacka-CHOMP, huh?
Mike: Guys!

>& the quoting! It's so much easier not to edit the quote,

Crow: It's sooo easy to fall in...oh, never mind.

>it just slabs it on at the end!!!

Mike: Slabs?  Isn't that some kind of, uhh, dysfunction?
Crow: And you thought WE were pushing it?
Tom: No, he thought Pfarrer was.
Crow: Wacka-wacka-WOW!

>
>                                                -Daniel Pfarrer

All: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

>                                                  Apple Supporter
>        Apple II Forever...                        GS Master!

Crow: From the looks of his posts, I doubt he's even managed to master bladder
control yet.

>

Tom: Look, a blank line!
Mike: Oh good, maybe it's over.

>               CIS: 71324,212 Internet: dpfarrer@cap.gwu.edu

Mike: Guess not.

>

Crow: Okay, maybe it's over now!

>                        GS Power BBS (301) 464-9363

Crow: Awwwww.

>               4:30p-9p EST weekdays / 10a-10p EST weekends 
>          200 min. a call / No Credit Ratio / 100 MB of IIGS Files

Tom: Now, who with Internet access would call a BBS?
Mike: Pfarrer would.

>

Crow: Won't catch me this time.  Ha!

>

Mike: Welllll, It looks like it might be, it could be...

>

All: It IS!  END OF ARTICLE!

6...5...4...3...2...1..< > 

<SoL>

Tom: Wheew!  Glad THAT's over with.

Crow: Aww, can't Tommy take a little post?

Tom: I didn't see YOU enjoying it either.

<Mike hits the button>

Mike: What do you think, sirs?

<Deep 13. Dr. F is dressed as Miss Ohio and dancing with Frank>

Dr. F (startled): Oh, hello there.  We're perfectly normal, honest.

Frank: You tell 'em, sweetie.

Dr. F (in a stage growl): Frank, -shut up-!

<SoL>

All: *laughing uncontrollably*

<Deep 13>

Dr. F: Someday, you'll be sorry Nelson.  Frank, just hit the button.

<Frank hits the button>

NOTICE: Mystery Science Theatre 3000 and it's characters are copyright (c)
1994 Best Brains, Inc.  Used without permission. This article is intended
solely for the entertaiment use of the MSTie readers of comp.sys.apple2.  No 
similarity to any actual persons or locations is intended.
-- 
Ian Schmidt / irsman@iastate.edu / IRSMan@aol.com
"I wanna decide who lives and who dies" - Crow, MST3K