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Re: AOL? Do What?!



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In article <4A9A90305C%news@youmustbejoking.demon.cu.invalid>,
Darren Salt  <news@youmustbejoking.demon.cu.invalid> wrote:
>I demand that Mark Cummings may or may not have written...
>
>> <HTML>
>> <HEAD>
>[snip]
>
>[start run]
>
>[debug]
>
>Trigger: multipart/alternative
>Trigger: text/html
>Trigger-Status: red
>Action-Type: flame
>Flame-Type: thwap
>Flame-Reason: html
>
>[output]
>
>#######  #    #  #    #   ####   #####     #
>   #     #    #  #    #  #    #  #    #    #
>   #     ######  #    #  #    #  #    #    #
>   #     #    #  #    #  ######  #####     #
>   #     #    #  # ## #  #    #  #
>   #     #    #   #  #   #    #  #         #
>
>DON'T POST HTML!

Here's a better response to HTML posters (and other undesirables) I ran
across a while back:

Dear

[ ] Troller
[ ] Idiot
[x] Lamer
[ ] Fiend
[x] Waster of bandwidth
[ ] Tool
[ ] Evolutionary Dead End
[ ] WaReZdOOd
[ ] Clueless Newbie
[ ] AOLer
[ ] "Me-too"-er
[ ] Pervert
[ ] Spammer
[ ] Scientologist
[ ] Unbearably self-righteous person


You are being flamed because

[ ] You crossposted
[ ] You are an AOLer
[ ] You posted in ALL CAPS
[x] You posted in HTML
[ ] You cannot recognize sarcasm
[ ] You posted a binary to this newsgroup
[ ] You started a flamewar
[ ] You are a troller
[ ] You quoted an entire message in your reply of 0 LINES
[ ] You requested warez
[ ] You defended a WaReZdOOd
[ ] your sig is longer than your response 
[ ] You posted in eLiTe CaPs
[ ] You flamed someone for a spelling error.
    [ ] ... and you misspelled something in the process
[x] You suck
[ ] You posted the same message to far too many newsgroups
[ ] You are a spammer
[ ] You don't know which group to post in
[ ] I just don't like you

To repent you must

[ ] Give up your AOL account
[ ] Buy a legitimate copy of all your pirated junk
[ ] Learn to turn off the CAPS LOCK before you type
[ ] Go hide under a Bridge.  If you do not have a bridge, we can sell
    you one named Brooklyn
[ ] Type format c: /u/y at your nearest DOS prompt
[ ] Go find a hose
[ ] Go to the top of the CN Tower and attempt to defy gravity
[ ] Eat your modem
[x] Give up your Newsreader
[x] See how long it takes to fall down the Grand Canyon
[ ] Shove a Cinnabon into your computer.
[ ] Without replacing the case, ground yourself to the Power Supply
    and turn computer on
[ ] Don't bother getting a new account when this one is pulled
[x] Be the guest of honor in alt.flame for a month

In closing, I would like to say

[x] AOL sucks!
[ ] The number of lines to your actual response, is equivalent to the
    square of your IQ.
[ ] Never post again
[ ] Buy your own software
[ ] Would you like deep fried or extra crispy?
[x] HTML belongs on the WWW, not on Usenet
[ ] Go back to your Nintendo, assmunch.
[ ] CAPS LOCK!  It's on the left!
[ ] Die, spammer!
[x] Get a clue!
[ ] Go away!
[ ] Learn to read headers!

  _/_
 / v \
(IIGS(  Scott Alfter (remove Voyager's hull number for email address)
 \_^_/  http://salfter.dyndns.org
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