F L A M E S T A T I O N I S H E R E !!

[GUDATH@EZINFO.VMSMAIL.ETHZ.CH (Henrik 'Ratte' Gudat)]

Contact:
gudath@ubaclu.unibas.ch


                THE SECOND COMING: FLAMESTATION RESURRECTED

       
Basel/Switzerland -- 7/28/96 -- Long ago and far away, headlines in
comp.sys.apple2 screamed out about the end of the world as we know it.
       
The demented programmers at Bright Software, while working on the initial
beta tests of Flame Station GS back in the dark ages of 1993, had caused an
explosion that wiped Basel, Switzerland off the face of the earth, and
caused untold havoc in several Western European countries. The reaction to
the Flame Station explosion was swift and decisive. Jacques Chirac, premier
of France, explained that the French A-bomb tests were initiated in a
direct response to the morons at Bright Software.

Years have passed and much of the world has forgotten about Bright Software
and Flame Station. But in early 1996, still determined to save the world
(not that it's really worth saving) the dweebs at Bright Software finally
emerged from their underground bunker and started work (sic) again on Flame
Station.

Those lamers and flamers at Bright Software are now proud to announce that
they have finally released their crappy "FlameStation" for worldwide
distribution. There's no restriction on usage - any neuron-equipped
imbecile can use this software. Who needs asbestos underwear when you can have 
Flame Station?

FlameStation is the least useful product since the introduction of
Windows 95 and telephone bills. "It was quite an undertaking, but being
on drugs helped a lot. FlameStation is a real productivity booster
that is guaranteed to increase Internet presence and has a great
overall impact on your image."

FlameStation has been designed specifically for America Offline users
and can therefore be operated by virtually any lifeform with moving
parts. Use of FlameStation does, however, require an IQ of at least 22.

"FlameStation caused a lot of confusion during development", said chief
nut Henrik. "Imagine reading highly offensive, content-free messages
for extended periods. We were all very shocked, very offended, very
aggressive. I wonder which dork made those bullish data files. We
had regular fights at the cafeteria and development was hampered by
sabotage from coworkers."

As with all the other B.S. from Bright Software, FlameStation is 100%
hand-crafted assembly language optimized for those outdated Apple IIgs.
FlameStation is the #1 equipment recommend by psychatrists, paranoids,
and your local sysop.

Praise for Flame Station pours in. In a review appearing in Satiric
Solutions II, Joe Klown and his evil twin brother Joe Klone, admitted that
they beta tested Flame Station and they were very pleased that they can now
venture back onto Usenet, with no fear from brainless and brain-dead
flames. Their only complaint about Flame Station was that the option to
send Electro Magnetic Pulses via modem had been disabled.

If you are a lamer, flamer, imbecile, dork or clueless newbie, you'll
appreciate the power granted to you by Flame Station. If you're jealous of
cold fusion and Stroker Ace, have no fear; with Flame Station, you'll soon
be flaming with the big boys.

Get Flame Station before it gets you!


FlameStation. The only flamethrower for any lifeform with moving parts. (tm)


-- fine print ------------------------------------------------------
FlameStation is (C) 1996 Henrik Gudat. Distribute freely as is. No restrictions 
as long if you don't charge for it or <=$5 if shipped on data carrier. The 
current version contains only a very basic set of flames and will be updated 
very soon. You can find FlameStation 1.0 on comp.binaries.apple2 . Requires
Apple IIgs and GS/OS. DO NOT DOWNLOAD FLAMESTATION IF PROFANE LANGUAGE DOES
OFFEND YOU OR YOU ARE UNDER 18 OR BOTH.
FLAME ME! I need more flames. Much more. Send me the _best_ flames you've ever 
seen! Use profane language only if it serves the purpose. Mail flames to 
gudath@ubaclu.unibas.ch . (A flame should not exceed 3 lines.) Tnx!