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VAMPS aboard the Satellite of Love



In the documentation file for NTV-XFACTOR-4D, Charles Turley wrote:

>SEPTEMBER 17, 1993

<Crow> Not so long ago, on a planet pretty darned close to here...

>NTV-XFACTOR.4D, is a SHAREWARE. 

<Tom> Whoa, abrupt intro there.
<Crow> You'd think he'd want a sense of drama or something.
 
>                                (IT'S NOT A DEMO OR A FREEWARE) !  THIS DISK
>IS NOT A SPOOF DISK OR A HOAX.

<Mike> Shyeah right, and monkeys might fly outta my butt!

>                                IT'S FOR REAL, SO READ ON PLEASE !

<Crow> Do we really have a choice?

>WELCOME TO THE WORLD PREMIERE OF THE FIRST REAL-TIME, FAST FOURIER SOUND
>DESIGNED,

<Crow> He can't fool me!  Fourier's been dead hundreds of years, he couldn't
possibly have designed this.

>           FOURTH DIMENSIONAL MUSIC, EVER PRESENTED ON ANY COMPUTER,
>NTV-XFACTOR.4D !

<Mike> X-Factor?  Cool, maybe they'll resolve the 'death of Madrox' plotline.
<Tom> Don't count on it.

>PROCESSED AND PRESENTED IN 100 % DIGITAL SOUND,

<Crow> Sure, but it's converted to analog by the time you hear it.
<Tom> Oh, picky picky.

>                                                 THE MUSIC ON THIS DISK HAS
>BEEN PROCESSED, USING AN INOVATIVE NEW 4D ENHANCEMENT MULTI-STAGE TECHNOLOGY,
>ORIGINALLY DEVELOPED BY KLAUS HEIMANN, THE DIRECTOR OF DEUTSCHE GRAMMOPHON, IN
>HANOVER, GERMANY.

<Mike> Oh, Klaus Heimann, didn't he write Dragon Wars GS?

>THIS FALL DEUTSCHE GRAMMOPHON IS RELEASING (ON CD),

<Tom> This is 1994.  Are you expecting 8-track?  Or maybe 78?

>                                                    ITS FIRST RECORDINGS MADE
>IN WHAT THE COMPANY CALLS "4D", 

<Tom> But which the rest of us call "crap".

>                                 A NEW METHOD OF DIGITAL RECORDING INTENDED TO
>BRING AN ADDED DIMENSION OF

<Crow> Made-up techno-mumble BS.

>                               CLARITY 

<Mike> Like those annoying herbicide commercials?

>                                         AND REALISM TO MUSIC.

>USING THE SAME BASIC PROCEEDURES, I'VE DECIDED TO PRESENT THIS NEW FORM OF 4D
>MUSIC TO ALL OF YOU THAT CHERISH YOUR IIGS COMPUTER AS

<Crow> A sex partner!
<Mike> Hey now, leave the "GS Lover" out of this.

>                                                       AN INOVATIVE DIGITAL
>MUSIC MACHINE.

>USING; A REMOTE-CONTROLLED MICROPHONE 

<Tom> Remote-controlled?  Don't you usually have to be kinda near the
microphone when you're using it?
<Crow> No, this is special 4D sound.  Time and space are relative when put
against such an advanced system.

>                                      PREAMPLIFIER, A HOLOPHONE SIMULATOR,

<Crow> How can you simulate something that doesn't exist?

>                                                                           A
>21 BIT ANALOG-TO-DIGITAL CONVERTER,

<Crow> Isn't the GS 8-bit audio?

>                                    (THE STAGEBOX PRINCIPLE) 

<Tom> Isn't the the use of obfuscation to hide the fact that the wizard is
really the guy behind the curtain?
<Crow> Kinda like this file you mean?

>                                                             MAKING THE A/D
>CONVERSION ON THE RECORDING STAGE (THE IIGS COMPUTER), THUS ELIMINATING THE
>LONG ANALOG PATHWAY,

<Tom> *heavy breathing* Oh, baby!  I love that long analog pathway!

>                      (WHICH WAS FORMERLY A MAJOR SOURCE OF NOISE AND
>DISTORTION) AND ALL-DIGITAL MIXING USING THE YAMAHA DMC 1000 MIXING CONSOLE,
>PROCESSED ALL OF THE SAMPLES USING THE DIGITECH PDS2000 -TWO SECOND DIGITAL
>(DOD) SAMPLER, WITH SOME PROPRIETARY (OSRL) SOFTWARE

<Crow> Sector edited copies of AudioZap, DigitalSession, and Sound Shop.

>                                                     FOR FINAL MASTERING WITH
>AUTHENTIC SOUND BIT IMAGING, I'VE BEEN ABLE TO GIVE THE LISTENER,

<Tom> Gross misuse of commas.

>                                                                   ELIMINATION
>OF THE AWARENESS OF THE TECHNICAL MEDIUM, ALLOWING THE ENJOYMENT OF A
>COMPLETELY NATURAL SOUND QUALITY, THAT RIVALS OTHER ADVANCED 16 BIT SOUND
>SYSTEMS WITH OTHER COMPUTERS.

<Crow> The GS is definitely 8-bit.  I don't know where he's getting this.
<Tom> Columbia, Bolivia, or Peru perhaps?
<Mike> *surfer dude voice* No way, man.  Jamaican weed is the best!

>MOVE OVER MAC AND IBM, WITH YOUR NEW QSOUND EFFECTS.  YOU'VE GOT SOME DEFT
>COMPETITION TO DEAL WITH NOW !

<All> *sing the "Chariots of Fire" music*

>THIS WORLD PREMIERE IS PRESENTED TO YOU, TO GIVE YOU THE BEST OPPORTUNITY TO
>JUDGE THE RESULTS OF THESE 4D TECHNOLOGICAL INNOVATIONS FOR YOURSELF.

>(PLEASE COPY/UPLOAD/PASS THIS DISK ON TO EVERYBODY THAT YOU CAN)

<Mike> Pass this disk?  Uhh, no thanks.  I prefer to eat -food-.

>Documentation; suggestions, special program instructions, credits, special
>thanks and acknowledgements for: NTV-XFACTOR.4D.

>IF YOU DON'T HAVE THE TIME OR ABILITIES TO DOWNLOAD THIS NTV XFACTOR.4D MUSIC
>DISK AND YOU WANT IT, PLEASE SEND ME AN 800K 3.5 DISK, WITH YOUR RETURN NAME
>AND ADDRESS, ALONG WITH THE RETURN POSTAGE ON A SELF-ADDRESSED ENVELOPE OR
>DISK MAILER AND I'LL SEND IT TO YOU PROMPTLY !

<Crow> How the hell are you supposed to be reading this if you can't download
the disk?

>This disk requires; an Apple IIgs (01 or 03 ROM).  1.25Megs of RAM are
>suggested.  A stereo card (SOUNDMEISTER for best results) and a good set of
>full-size (High-intensity) headphones are necessary, to allow you to listen to
>the music and experience the full 4D effects, as intented !

<Tom> IntenTed?  This guy needs a spell checker.

>                                                           NTV stands for

<Crow> Nibbling Tasty Vaginas.

>NoiseTracker VAMPS.  VAMPS stands for 

<Tom> Very Assanine Music Player System

>                                     Vortex (Virtual)

<Crow> C'mon, which is it?

>                                                       Audio Mastered
>Psychoacoustic Sound.

>SPECIAL NOTICE FOR FIRST TIME USERS OF AN NTV DISK: THIS DISK IS DESIGNED AS
>AN 3.5 800K (DISK BASED ONLY) MUSIC JUKEBOX (DMA-AUTOLOAD-AUTOPLAY)

<Mike> Whoa, DMA is when the disk controller hardware directly stores data in
memory with the CPU disabled.  This disk does NOT do that.

>SELF-BOOTING DISK.  IT'S NOT INTENDED FOR USE ON YOUR HARD DRIVE, WITH PRODOS
>OR FOR USE UNDER ANY VERSION OF THE GS/OS.

<Crow> Yes it is, FREEOS is a sector-edited version of ProDOS 8 which removes
Apple's copyright notice.  It's otherwise 100% identical.

>XFACTOR.4D IS A (NO-TOOLS) DISK. IT WILL NOT WORK ON A HARD DRIVE.  IT WON'T
>DAMMAGE YOUR HARD DRIVE, ITS CONTENTS OR YOUR COMPUTER.  YOU WILL SIMPLY HAVE
>TO TURN YOUR COMPUTER OFF AND REBOOT IT, IF YOU ATTEMPT TO USE THIS DISK
>AND/OR ITS CONTENTS FROM: WITHIN YOUR HARD DRIVE.

<Crow> What the hell is that colon doing there?
<Tom> Maybe we should introduce this guy to Sister Mary George and her 12-inch
wooden paddle.
<Crow> Or at least TimeOut-Grammar.

>IT SHOULD BE USED AS IT IS, ON THIS DISK, FOR THE INTENDED 4D SOUND EFFECTS
>EXPERIENCE. IT HAS INTRO SHR PICTURES CODED INTO THE BOOT PROCESS AND IS
>DESIGNED WITH THE FREEOS SYSTEM AND THE LOADER SYSTEM TO LAUNCH THE JUKEBOX
>PROGRAM AS FAST AS YOUR IIGS CAN LOAD IT INTO ITS MEMORY, (51 SECONDS) TOTAL
>FROM LOAD START TO PLAY.

<Tom> Odd, it takes exactly the same amount of time and sounds just as
terrible when I replaced FREEOS with a legal copy of ProDOS 8, which has a
legal copy of DiversiCache installed.

>MAKE SURE YOU'VE GOT YOUR HEADPHONES ON AND MAKE SURE YOU HAVE A GOOD STEREO
>OUTPUT CARD FOR YOUR IIGS,(SOUNDMEISTER CARD RECOMMENDED) THEN SIT BACK,
>LISTEN AND ENJOY A NEW EXTENDED GLOBAL STEREO 4D DIMENSION, IN 100 % DIGITAL
>VIRTUAL (VERTUAL) VAMPS AUDIO PERCEPTION ON YOUR IIGS.

<Tom> Global stereo?
<Crow> I think China's calling; they can hear your Global stereo and they want
you to stop playing the Dead so loud.

>THIS DISK IS A SHAREWARE AND I URGE YOU TO COPY IT AND CIRCULATE IT AROUND TO
>EVERYBODY YOU THINK WILL ENJOY IT.  IF YOU DECIDE TO UPLOAD IT TO ANY BBS,
>PLEASE SHRINK IT WITH THE SHRINKIT COMPRESSION UTILITIES, USING THE SHRINK
>ENTIRE DISK OPTION.  USING THIS PROCEEDURE, YOU WILL BE ABLE TO PACK THE
>ENTIRE DISK INTO ONE SINGLE 800K DISK (SHRINKIT) DISK FILE AND RETAIN ALL OF
>THE OPERATING SYSTEM FUNCTIONS, FAST-LOAD, BOOT PICTURES AND KEEP THE DISK THE
>WAY I RELEASED IT ORIGINALLY.

>IF YOU ALTER THIS DISK OR ATTEMPT TO USE IT WITH PRODOS, A DECREASE IN SOUND
>QUALITY AND AN INCREASE IN LOADING TIME WILL RESULT.

<Crow> Bzzt, but you will restore Apple's copyright notice, making it legal to
distribute the disk.  Something you can't do with it as-is.

>IF YOU LEAVE IT AS IT IS, PUT IT INTO YOUR DISK DRIVE AND TURN ON YOUR IIGS,
>YOU SHOULD HAVE NO PROBLEMS WITH EXPERIENCING WHAT I HAVE INTENDED FOR YOU TO
>MUSICALLY EXPERIENCE WITH THE SOUND DESIGNS AND MUSIC MODULE PLAY EFFECTS.

<Tom> What if we do?  Huh?  Huh huh?
<Mike> *thru a bullhorn* Tell me something I don't know! Push the button, 
connect the goddamn dots!
<Crow> *Butt-head voice* Huhuhuhuhuh. Hey Beavis, Ministry rules!

>This disk is self-booting from a standard IIgs (01 OR 03 ROM) with an 800k -
>3.5 drive.  Total load time for the JUKEBOX and its music is about 51 seconds.

>The JukeBox basic program has been improved and enhanced even more than the
>last release. I've redesigned the sound and cache commands for the Jukebox
>program. It includes an all-new refined sound design with; Virtual 4D Digital
>Audio soundscape expansion, real-time linear loop progression,

<Tom> Linear loop progression?  Isn't that an optimization option in C
compilers? 

>                                                              PHASED-DOOPLER,

<Crow> Channel 13 has 3-D Doppler StormScan, rendered in realtime on a Silicon
Graphics machine.  Is he trying to say that has some applicability to audio?
<Tom> Only in making it sound like "an infinite horde of tone-deaf monkeys
smashing music boxes into little tinkling bits" (tm Dave Seah).

>VARIANT WAVEFORM, 

<Mike> You'd hope modern music would use more than one waveform sound.

>                 MULTI-GLOBAL REVERB,

<Tom> I think we've just discovered the source of the LA earthquakes.

>                                     DAT

<Crow> Digital Audio Tape?
<Tom> Derek A Taubert?
<Mike> Guys...

>                                          and CONTRIPETAL CONVOLUTION coding.

<Crow> *consults dictionary* There's no such word as 'contripetal'.
<Tom> Maybe he means 'centripetal', as in swinging these VAMPS disks around on
the end of a string and then letting them smash into pieces.

>The JukeBox program, allow you to press any key to proceed to the next music
>module, the same as all the other versions.

<Mike> Plus ca change...

>(SPECIAL NOTE: It may be neccessary to press a key to proceed to the second 4D
>music selection, when the first music selection has ended.  After that, the
>proceeding music, should play automatically, one after the other.)

>Additional 4D sound design and dimensional enhancements have been added to the
>JukeBox program. These enhanced effects aren't found on the versions of any
>past VAMPS or NTV JukeBox basic programs.  I still use an ample supply of
>ninth chords,

<Crow> Avoid the shortage, get your ninth chords, only $49.95 on this special 
TV offer!

>              with cross rhythms

<Tom> Cross Rhythms, clothing without prejudice.

>                                 and deceptive cadence.
 
<Mike> In my high school band, the snare drums made noises when they lifted the
sticks away from the them.  Now *that* was a deceptive cadence.

>                                                        These are added sound
>design features, that I plan to include on all future releases to give added
>dimensional effects.

<Crow> *Rod Serling voice*  You are entering a dimension of BS and
obfuscation, unlike any which you have ever encountered...

>You are welcome to make whatever modifications you wish to the JukeBox
>program, to suit your own PERSONAL audio needs.

<Crow> Is this gonna turn into a PERSONAL feminine hygiene ad?
<Tom> *falsetto* Dr Tom, do you ever get that not-so-fresh feeling?

>                                                 I have many ideas for
>development and improvements with the JukeBox program variations and would be
>glad to discuss them with anybody that cares to call, leave EMAIL or write.

>The (VORTEX) Virtual Audio ' DIGITAL AUDIO TRANSMUTATION & CONTRIPETAL
>CONVOLUTION ' still in the research, development and evaluation stages, is
>included with the 4D process and presented for your listening perceptual
>enjoyment and exploration.

<Crow> Perceptual enjoyment?  I think it's just a dodge around the fact that
less than 5% of tone deaf people even think VAMPS disks are music.

>I would appreciate your comments with your impressions of the effects and for
>any suggestions on improvements, modifications or any input you care to send
>me.  Critisism and compliments are both welcomed !

>The music modules were digitally remastered and the waveforms were vividly
>enhanced,

<Tom & Crow> Don't just, get 'em clean, get 'em vivid!

>          with the new SOUNDMEISTER stereo digitizer card and the
>DigitalSession sound editor software from ECON Technologies.  I'd advise
>everybody that likes to use their IIgs for stereo sound, (INPUT AND/OR OUTPUT)

<Crow> I guess CS professors might like input and output.

>to purchase one of these cards.

>The SOUNDMEISTER card is the best stereo digitizer card I've ever used, for
>the IIgs and will give you a fantastic, clear, full range stereo sound
>ability, such as you've never before experienced on your IIgs. The
>DigitalSession sound editor software, that comes with the card is also a
>wonderful STATE-OF-THE-ART

<Tom> Don't you just love totally meaningless terms like that?

>                            program that has many advanced features, never
>found with any other sound editing software for the IIgs.  YOU DON'T NEED THE
>SOUNDMEISTER CARD TO USE THIS SOFTWARE.

<All> AHHHHH!  STOP YELLING!

>This disk is a SHAREWARE.  If you like this disk the Virtual Reality Stereo
>music and 4D digital sound processing on it, please send your comments and
>your SHAREWARE fee of $5 to:
                        
>Charles T. (Dr. Tom) Turley, Ph.D.  OmniSoft Sound Research LAB 115 Santa
>Clara Street.  S.F., CA. 94005 USA

<Crow> Please donate, or Dr. Tom may have to switch to lower-grade pot.

>NTV XFACTOR.4D, presents an (all-new) digital enhancement concept and program
>design, in Virtual Reality Audio, 4D sound design, music presentation and
>dimensional listening perception combined with; D.A.T. ( Digital Audio
>Transmutation) with CC

<Crow> It's written in Orca/C now?

>                       (Contripetal Convolution),

<Tom> We've covered this already.  That phrase means exactly nothing.
<Crow> But the word 'torturous' *does* appear in the definition of
"Convolution", and 'torture' is what comes to MY mind when using VAMPS.


>                                                  as you've never before
>experienced.

<Tom> And hopefully never will again.
<Crow> A-men.

>Over 2 years of diligent research has gone into this (all-new) combination of
>the music, digital sound designs and the improvement efforts for its
>presentation system.  Weeks of labor with countless trials and errors, have
>gone into the redesigned JukeBox basic program, the music, samples and
>digitalsound designs on this disk.

>I'm sure most of you that listen to the music and sound designs on this disk,
>will realize it is certainly more unique and impressive than the last NTV
>release.  But, again I'd like to point out that only the esoterically trained
>audiophile, can comprehend the scope of what enhancements are found on this
>NTV XFACTOR.4D disk,

<Tom> Oddly enough, classically trained musicians think it's a horribly out of
 key load of BS.  Esoterically trained audiophiles may be another matter.

>                     with regard to the music and Virtual Reality (digital 4D)
>Audio sound design effects.  I'm sure you'll notice the pronounced 4D CUPOLA
>and ARCING of the geoacoustic soundscapes, like you've never experienced them
>before.

<Crow> The what what?
<Tom> *Spock voice* Quadro-triticale is a four-lobed hybrid of wheat and rye.
<Crow> *Shatner voice*  Spock, I LOVE YOU!

>Those of you versed in the higher levels of sound, its effect on emotions and
>the brain, using binaural beat frequencies, paired hetrodyning and whole brain
>syncronization, combined with the overtures, harmonics and inductive uplifts

<Tom> Hetrodyning? Beat frequencies? Inductive uplifts?  I'm no EE, but it
sounds like a radio or radar reciever he's describing there.

>of such universal cosmic sounds as; HU, OM and AVM,

<Crow> Don't I hear those noises coming from the bathroom sometimes, Mike?
<Mike> *somewhat defensively* I got some Ex-Lax and it's all better now.

>                                                     will surely find some
>special etherial elements of sound delight and enlightenment in the music on
>this disk also.

<Tom> This guy sounds more and more like a TV preacher.

>I've applied and intergrated every aspect of my accumulated knowledge of sound
>design enlightenment proceedures, along with the new 4D processing, some
>experimental ordinate coding, imbricated into the music modules and the
>program that plays them, on this disk.

<Tom> *flips thru dictionary* Ahh, imbricated.  Layed out in a pattern like
roof tiles.
<Crow> For those keeping score at home, that's Dr Tom: 0, The Facts: 999999999

>The combination of the effects you will experience in; Virtual (4D Digital)
>Audio psychoacoustics, physioacoustics and geometricacoustics,

<Crow> Christ, enough of fake words with "acoustics" on the end.

>                                                               joined together
>with the new D.A.T., CC coding process,

<Tom> I did a DAT CC coding process the other day.
<Crow> Really?
<Tom> Yeah, I got some C source off my DAT backup and then compiled it.

>                                        special reverb effects and the
>plentiful, prominent and pronounced

<Crow> PPP?  Isn't that some kinda TCP connection?

>                                    effects of the sample sounds designed with
>the input of; HU, OM and AVM

<Mike> *annoyed* The Ex-Lax worked fine, get off it with those sounds.

>                              layered within the samples and governed by the
>new designed JukeBox program,

<Crow> I think I'd prefer anarchy in this case.

>                              should certainly give the listener a totally
>cosmic, mental sense of well being and emotional uplifted 4D audio joy.

<Tom> *surfer dude voice* Whoa, man, that's like, totally cosmic.
<Crow> *surfer dude voice* And mental and uplifted.  Whoaaa.  Cool.

>This disk may even give many of you a few vivid goose bumps,

<Tom & Crow> Don't just get 'em clean, get 'em Vivid.

>                                                             rushes

<Crow> Rushes?  He's trying to associate the real music of Our Boys From
Toronto with *this* pile of shit?

>                                                                    and audio
>chills and thrills.

<Crow> *Cryptkeeper voice* Faces of VAMPS 4D.  You'll get a certificate...of
survival.  Hahahahahhahahaa.

>                    It might even make you thrash your head and sholders
>around a bit and tap your hands and feet,

<Mike> Usually I prefer Metallica for that.  I guess I'm just not geeky enough
to slam-dance to a computer.
<Crow> Uhh, Mike, what do you call techno dance music?

>                                          after a few replays of the entire
>JukeBox.  I certainly hope it does.  Thats what I have intended !

>You may notice within some of the music modules, clicks, pops, hisses and what
>even sound like cheap old records that skip.  I assure you they are there for
>a very valid reason and function.

<Tom> The disk was made from cheap old records that skip.

>                                   They were mastered into the final samples,
>to allow the listener to experience depth extension, sound localization point
>enhancements, demensional, seperational and entrainment effects.

<Tom> EnTRAINment?  Whoo-whoooo!  Chugga-chugga-chugga.

>NTV XFACTOR.4D will push your (DOC) Ensoniq chip to new virtual (4D Digital)
>audio limits of operation and should give you an enhanced stereo listening
>experience like you've never encountered before, on your IIgs !  As I've said
>before and I'll say again, repetition deserves improvement

<Crow> It does?  If something's improved, it's not just a repetition.
Therefore, this statement is (with me, guys?)
<All> Total BS.

>                                                           and I've done my
>best to add it, with this new enhanced ( WORLD PREMIERE - 4D NTV MUSIC)
>release.

>I really doubt that you'll find any music, any better or more dimensional to
>listen to on your IIgs, than the music presented on this disk.

<Crow> I can find lots of better music.  Just find the MODs he massacred to
make this disk and play them in soniqTracker or MODZap for starters.
<Tom> And the 'dimensional' effects are better too.

>The skew for this disk is the standard 2 : 1, so that the information for the
>D.A.T.,CC and PGSD coding in these special designed NTV music modules will
>load from the disk to RAM and play more accurately.

<Crow> That's odd, I tried reformatting the disk with 5 different interleaves
and it still...with me?...
<All> Sounded like shit.

>As always, square waves are used in the sounds, as much as possible.

<Crow> I thought square waves went out for synthesis when the DX-7 was
introduced.  
<Tom> Nah, before that, more like the time of the Mini-Moog and Oberheim.
<Mike> Yeah, but ancient analog synthesizers are all the rage these days.

>                                                                      Because,
>I learned long ago, that a square wave form will carry information to
>biological media more accurately than any other wave form.

<Tom> Hey, Mike, how's it feel to be "biological media"?
<Mike> It makes me want to reformat myself so I can forget all about VAMPS.

>                                                            An interrupt pulse
>of 90 per minute is also used in many NTV music modules, to instill an added
>sense of well being for the listener.

<All> Huh?
<Tom> Oddly enough, last time I checked NTGS normally uses interrupts at 50
Hz, which is per *second*.

>If you need any technical information on this disk, its construction, design
>or its contents, please send a self-address envelope with return postage.
>Please be specific on exact information you wish.

<Crow> *Butt-head voice* Uhhh, huhuhuhuh, how come there aren't any like,
naked chicks on this disk?
<Tom> *Beavis voice* Yeah, that'd be cool.  And fire too!  Fire!  Fire!  Fire!

>The sounds have an exceptional range and character to them, from ice cold to
>red hot, 

<Tom> *Beavis voice*  Fire!  Fire!  Fire!

>         with crystal clarity.  They're all pure digital with cascade and fast
>fourier real time (CD quality) sampling rates, demonstrating the ultimate
>current state-of-the-art in IIgs computer musical presentation.  I know you'll
>be impressed and agree, when you listen to the music on this disk.

<Tom> Real-time fast fourier on a GS?  It takes 15 seconds using table-lookup
and floats in Orca/C on a 7 Mhz GS.  And that's for 256 bytes of a sample.
<Crow> Maybe Dr. Tom's using a really good secret GS compiler.
<Tom> BScc maybe?

>I've added some special new designed (4D Digital) sound coding waveform
>enhancements, bineural beat frequencies and binaural audio plused signals to
>the music, to facilitate listener relaxation, dimensional perceptions, mood
>enhancements and general audio enjoyment !

<Crow> I use beat frequencies all the time to tune my trumpet.

>Here are four more new and improved (4D 100 % Digital), note bending and
>mind-bending, whole-brain, ethereal music vibrations for your; heart, mind,
>body and soul, from O.S.R.L., 1WSW's and friends with our best regards for
>you.

<Tom> But apparently not much regard for our INTELLIGENCE.

>I hope to hear from all of you that get this disk, concerning what you think
>about the 4D music, the new enhancements to the program and the D.A.T. and
>Contripital Convolution sound designs.  If you can't do anything more, drop me
>a postcard, with your comments.  Your reply by mail would be appreciated very
>much.  I really do want and need your feedback.

<Crow> Gentlemen.  Ready, aim, FIRE!

>I've included my phone number at the bottom of this file, if you care to give
>me a call.  I'll be glad to talk with you, any time from; 9 AM to 9 PM (PST) -
>Monday thru Friday.  Still; no modem, no FAX or answering machines !  I'll
>either answer the phone in person or it will just ring, and ring and ring, if
>I've got my headphones turned up or if I'm not in.  Call back and keep trying
>until you get me.

<Tom> *fake French voice* Geeeet heeeem, he eees lame!

>I sincerely hope you enjoy the contents of NTV XFACTOR.4D and I look forward
>to your reply.

<Tom> Thank god, it's over.

---
Auri Rahimzadeh, coordinator, One World Software Wizards.

NOT!  This exercise in self-indulgence brought to you by Analog Sam.