The Intradimensional Subpsychometric Software Gods

[daye@jacobs.CS.ORST.EDU (Just a Guy Made of Dots and Lines)]

I found this in my mailbox with a request to have it posted
(Please read all the way to the end before following up with anything)

----Begin Forwarded Message----

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

	Announcing:
				_T_he
				_I_ntradimensional
				_S_ubpsychometric
				_S_oftware
				_G_ods

     You were amazed by the French heathens in the late 80's and early 90's,
Bullwinkle Moose and the GS<>IRC gave it a shot from the other side of the 
Atlantic.  What you're about to see will truly enlighten you about the FULL
capabilities of the Apple //gs.

     Greetings.  I am Patriarch Francis of TISSG.  For the last several years
we have been accumulating vast stores of knowledge about the Apple //gs.  
As part of a project for a combined Biochemistry/Genetics class, our covert
operatives in Europe gathered hair and skin samples from members of the FTA,
FUCK, GSA, ACS, and anyone else who thought they knew anything about the GS.
By using a technique too secret to elaborate on, I have combined their genetic
code, and thus theirlimitless knowledge of the GS, into my own genes.  I am
truly a GS God now.  
     What, might you ask, does someone as obviously superior as myself want
with you, the average GS user who utilizes less than 10% of his brain?  I
want you to experience the full capabilities of the GS.  I have developed a
Virtual Reality Interface (VRI) that allows you to program from the *inside*
of the GS.  Why wait for the Brainport of the ROM 06 when you can have 
total control of your GS with only a thought.  
     Even more impressive is the capability of downloading the *entire* GS,
software, hardware, *everything* into the brain.  Computer portability has
never been as easy, and no LCD or flat screen can match the infinite 
resolution capabilities of the human mind.  Download multiple copies and
multitasking is unnecessary.  I personally have had up to 30 GS's running
in my brain simultaneously with no adverse effects whatsoever.
     Through this technology I have developed RAMPS, _R_eally _A_wesome
_M_usic _P_sychometer _S_ounder.  Total surround sound has never been
so amazing.  In fact, with the VIR, you don't just hear the sound, you
_are_ the sound.  Your guts will reverb with the bass and soar with the lead.
     If you cannot afford a VRI, you need not feel left out.  We have a series
of GeneWare disks called GSPODS (Graphic and Sound Patriarch-Owned Disks) - in
return for hair and skin samples, we will send you disks loaded with the
closest thing to Virtual Reality you can get without a VRI.  Please note that
all tissue samples become the property of TISSG. As a bonus, we'll also stick
the best shareware, freeware, fonts, and MODs available for the GS, with no
additional tissue samples required.
     Sound is not the only frontier being explored.  Unfortunately, we
are still testing several interfaces with the optic and tactile sensory
networks in the brain.
     So how do I become a part of this, you ask?  Simple.  You must be
willing to relocate to our secret compound in Alaska.  There is a (small)
donation of $1500, to cover the hardware costs involved in building the VRI.
There is also a non-disclosure agreement, due to the highly sensitive nature
of this research.  Sorry, but not even family can know of your work or your
location.  There are also certain risks involved in this kind of research.
Should you be injured in testing, we shall not be held responsible.  

     There you have it!  If you want to be on the cutting edge of technology,
testing neural interfaces and VRI's, give us a call.  You haven't experienced
the GS until you call.
	
		That number is: 1-900-IM-FRIED
		  $15.99 for the 1st minute,
		  $5.99 for each additional minute.
		  average call length: 30 minutes.


Patriarch Francis, heir to GS.
    
----End Forwarded Message----

DISCLAIMER:  This was deposited in my mailbox by an unknown source.  I am in
no way associated with TISSG or their VRI research.  I do know that the above
phone number is not connected.  However, anyone interested should be able
to find the "Patriarch" by posting to csa2.

:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

-- 
|Evan Day                | "Plans made in the nursery can change the
|daye@jacobs.CS.ORST.EDU |  course of history.  Remember that."
|^^^^ - preferred e-mail |                          - M. L. Gore               
|FSEJD1@acad3.alaska.edu | Okay, now just who's opinion is that up there?