csa2 chronicles: the search for peace

[POWPAD <powpad@library.ucla.edu>]

The barren, fire-scorched landscape marked what was once the beautiful
land of comp.sys.apple2.  Throughout the descent of the newsgroup
from a friendly, helpful place to a wasteland ruled by flames, a
few mean-spirited individuals had succeeded in terrorizing the silent,
hopeful majority...

<Nathan Mates>  F*** you!  (Smoke)
<Dr. Tom>  Yeh, why don't you TELL IT LIKE IT IS!  (Ice)
<Sam Ismail>  Fight, fight, fight!  F*** everyone!

...slowly, the majority stirred as they realized that their problems
were caused by a few fools...

<Bruce Maples>  Gosh, is this normal?  I stumbled into this newsgroup
     hoping for help and found hell instead!
<Lane Roathe>  Damn depressing.  Yes, it is normal.  The likes of
     Nate, Tom, and Sam are ruining it for the rest of us.
<Bruce Maples>  Nate has some FAQs, doesn't that make him better?
<Lane Roathe>  He's helpful, but for some reason he thinks that
     gives him the right to flame and tell everyone what to do.
     As far as I'm concerned, he's no better than the rest of them.
<Bruce Maples>  What about Tom?
<Lane Roathe>  He means well, but he defends pirating the software
     that keeps the Apple II alive.  Even worse, he's as bad a
     flamer as Nate.
<Bruce Maples>  And Sam?
<Lane Roathe>  A cheerleader for flames, stirring up the Nate-vs-Tom
     idiocracy.
<Bruce Maples>  Disgusting!

...luckily, a few prominent Apple II figures that mean well managed
to survive the firestorm and now they were initiating a bold plan
to restore the newsgroup...

<Henrik Gudat>  Look at Nate, Tom, and Sam going at it.  They've
     taken up half the bandwidth of the newsgroup and left most
     of the landscape in ashes.
<Joe Kohn>  Those flaming idiots are ruining the environment and
     killing the Apple II.  Hmmmmm, look at them, they don't even
     notice anyone but themselves anymore.
<Henrik Gudat>  You're right!  [Henrik waves a hand in front of
     the three flamers, but they could see nothing but the fight.]
<Joe Kohn>  I have an idea......

...Joe Kohn and Henrik Gudat rallies the Apple II community into
building a containment barrier between the flamers and themselves.
The flamers had already absorbed half of comp.sys.apple2, but there
was still activity in the other half.  This second half could be
salvaged.

<Joe Kohn>  There it is, a three stage containment barrier.  First,
     the flamers are cordoned off with an energy shield.  Second,
     security cameras have been installed to observe the flamers.
     Third, a titanium alloy wall three feet thick separates us
     from the flames.
<Henrik Gudat>  Impressive.  It's funny that we spent all this time
     building the barrier and they haven't even noticed.


...upon the completion of the barrier, the remaining users of
comp.sys.apple2 were at last safe.  For eons hence, things went
well.  Without flaming, the Apple II community became productive.
New products came out.  Henrik Gudat perfected a GS emulator and
later sold full blown GS compatible computers.  Joe Kohn's paper
grew from a newsletter to a magazine thicker than Macworld.  Apple
software was making it into the schools again.  The return of
former Apple programmers to the platform resolved the Asimov
issue.  Some were outraged when they discovered their software
on the site.  These sued and Asimov had to shut down.  However,
others were happy to make their software available for free.
Fully half of the old software made it into freeware - freely
distributable, but retaining the copyright to protect sequels
and all that.  A new site popped up to support emulators, but
this one did things the right way.  Everyone was happy.  Then
one day Henrik Gudat was looking at the security monitors when...

<Henrik Gudat>  Joe look, Nate, Tom, and Sam have stopped fighting!
<Joe Kohn>  Do you think they are ready for civilization?
<Henrik Gudat>  Let's put on the audio.

[audio on]
<Nathan Mates>  I didn't see this.  It looks like a force field.
<Dr. Tom>  How dare they do this to us!
<Sam Ismail>  It must have been here for decades.
<Nathan Mates>  We must find a way to neutralize it.  How does it
     work?
<Dr. Tom>  I'd say it uses sub-fluxion particles to alter the
     magnetic guluxic balance of the atoms to.....
<Nathan Mates>  Shut the garbage Turley!
<Dr. Tom>  Why can't I preach?  You do!
<Nathan Mates>  I only tell FAQs!  Cold hard FAQs.  Face the FAQs
     Turley, you liar.  (Smoke)
<Dr. Tom>  Nananananana  (Ice)
[audio off]

<Joe Kohn>  That was close.  I thought they were working together
     to breach the containment barrier.  Nate and Tom had so much
     energy those eons ago, they could have done anything if they
     joined forces.
<Henrik Gudat>  Wait, look at the monitors, Sam Ismail is still
     watching the barrier.  What is he up to?
<Joe Kohn>  Whatever it is, we can't let him, or any of those
     three flamers escape.  We've got too much at stake.  We've
     done so much as a community with them gone.

...just then a siren blares...

<Joe Kohn>  What is it?
<Henrik Gudat>  My God, Sam Ismail, that jackass is draining the
     energy shield!

...will the flamers destroy the Apple II?  Will civilization as
we know it survive?  Will peace prevail?  Will Joe, Henrik, and
the other rational users of comp.sys.apple2 prevent the flamers
from breaching containment?