Re: Euphoria Tape...Try it with a Lover!

[tm@netcom.com (Toshiyasu Morita)]

Estascy@euphoria.com wrote:

: The Euphoria Tape

: Do The Euphoria Tape alone the first time, and then 
: with a lover. It's a phenomenon you will feel within
: the first 3 minutes of use -- what you feel the rest of
: the time is unbelievable.

Unroll a few feet of Euphoria Tape, and carefully pile the tape into a
small spoon, Hold the spoon over a cigarette lighter until fumes appear. 
Inhale fumes.

: The Euphoria Tape.

: It was first whispered about on college campuses, and 
: only experimented with in seclusion, or among close 
: friends in private settings, but it has now become a 
: cult rush and is considered the next passion of our 
: Cyber lifestyles.

Cyberdude:
  
  "Let's go inhale some CyberMultiMediaInteractiveEuphoric Tape!!"

Imagine CyberDude. He is a devotee of the Cyber lifestyle. He wears a faded 
blue denim jacket adorned with several silver and gold CD-ROMs sloppily 
attached to the shoulders via supermarket twisties, and several loops of 
Ethernet thick and thin cable are wrapped around his arms. Enumerated on 
the back of his jacket are the adddresses for his web pages on 68 
systems, in small print..."http://www.aol.com/~cyberdude/, 
http://www.prodigy.com/~cyberdude/...";

As he walks through the college campus, the early morning sun gently 
glints from the silver and gold CD-ROMs, accompanied by the rhythmic 
"clank-clank-clank" of CD-ROMs bumping against each other and the 
"swush-swush-swush" of the cables rubbing against the denim.

Cyberdudette:
  
  "That's totally Cyber! Meet you after class!"

Enter Cyberdudette. She, too, has a Cyber lifestyle. Although she's not 
quite as openly Cyber as Cyberdude, she admires the way he openly flaunts 
his Cyber lifestyle. She dresses modestly; her only concession to her 
Cyber lifestyle is to keep a diskette with the latest version of Netscape 
in her purse for emergencies.

: The Euphoria Tape.

: Not a drug, not a chemical, but an audio stimulation of 
: brain centers controlling pleasure. And agony. And ecstacy. 
: The buzz. An audio mesmer signal strokes the base of the 
: mind, choking out pain sensations and producing the violent 
: flow of... euphoria.

They meet at the steps of CyberDude's dorm. They enter his dorm room, 
together...her arms gently encircling his URLs, and her head resting on 
the loops of Ethernet cable.

His room is decorated in fairly standard Cyber lifestyle decor - his walls 
are lined with the graphics dumps from past Cool Site of the Day sites, so he 
can study minutely what constitutes CyberCoolness. Half of his faux oak 
desk is covered with his latest acquisition and prized possession, a 
Hewlett-Packard 50,000 dpi scanner to create absolutely the highest 
quality Web graphics.

The other half of his disk is covered with three NEC XV21s all vying for 
his attention, and the floor is littered with four P166s, three for running 
Netscape and one for the T1 link.

They fall onto the floor, whispering endearments..."You were so Cyber 
today, I love you..." then Cyberdude breaks away to prepare the Euphoria 
Tape. He deposits precisely the optimal length of tape into the silver 
spoon, and, with a practiced flick, ignites the cigarette lighter and 
holds it under the spoon. Soon, the room is filled with the intoxicating 
and alluring scent of Euphoria Tape.

Cyberdude and Cyberdudette, sprawled on the floor...

Cyberdude:

  "Oh gawd, this is totally CYBER!!!"

Cyberdudette (languidly):

  "This is better than when you were voted Cool Site of the Day..." 

Cyberdude:

  "No way, are you LAGGED??"

: The Euphoria Tape.

: Copies have changed hands from friends to friends to other 
: friends. It is not regulated, there are no laws yet restricting 
: use of The Euphoria Tape. 

: The Euphoria Tape is rushing the masses.
: *************************************************
: Stereo audio cassette. Scientific treatment included.  

Hey, you forgot to randomly capitalize words in your post.

: Shipped immediately upon receipt of $11.88 
: personal check or money order. 
: Absolute satisfaction guaranteed (and 
: experienced) or full purchase price refunded.  

: Offered only to adults 18 years or older.

You mean "Offered only to suckers 18 years or older."

(rest of post deleted for brevity, and also for mercy)


Toshi