Re: Attempts to ban constructive criticism...

[nathan@parka.winternet.com (Nathan Mates)]

In article <C071096195723.5950@darkcastle.ecore.fnet.org>,
Dark_Dude <Dark_Dude@darkcastle.ecore.fnet.org> wrote:
>I run a BBS. I know why so few people post a message on a BBS
>(including mine) and why they always go downloading in the Exodus Xfer
>section, etc. In short: they are passive users.

>Why do they do that? Because most people are afraid to post a message. Afraid
>that someone will trap them on their fingers when they make a mistake (you see
>new-posters editing their posts all the time, to make sure there are as few as
>possible errors in it). They just don't dare to cross the border.

   Do you have proof of this, or are you just making a guess that
happens to agree with what you believe in overall? Lots of people
would rather just sit back and watch what goes on without having to
resort to any explanations of 'fear' or anything else.


>I'm not mentioning people in specific, but several people ALWAYS need to blame
>and flame posters for their mistakes. And even while they make those mistakes
>abusively (like I'm doing), they get spelling lessons (this example refers to
>Nathan).

   [Your BBS software or something else inserted control-O and
control-Ns at the start of some of these paragraphs. Also, can you
keep the line length don near 70 so that it can be quoted easier?]

   "I'm not mentioning people in specific except for Nathan." Then
just come out and say you disagree with me, none of this "sensitivity"
towards my feelings that makes you look worse.

>And I am NOT blaming anyone for doing this, but from what I know and from what
>I have learned on my own BBS, is THAT WE SHOULD NOT BLAME OR FLAME PEOPLE!
>Once this has happened, don't expect them to EVER post a message again! 

   It's called constructive criticism. I don't just say "you suck.
POAD, newbie," I say "tip: press return every 70 characters to make it
easier to quote you." If you can't tell the difference between those
two, you need help. In the first, it's a pure flame, which I tend to
aim at those who've shown themselves incapable of listening to
constructive criticism. The second identifies a problem of their, and
offers a solution. 


   People must be able to take criticism. If they are insulated from
it in school, online and the like, when they get their first job, they
need to be able to be told "this sucks. Redo it!" and not spaz out.
Grades in school are the same way-- a 'F' or a 'C' tells you that you
are not perfect, and need to do better. Eventually in their life (and
afterlife), people _will_ be criticized, people _will_ have to accept
it, and grow from it. You 're trying to deny this basic fact.

   Further, except when they're very offensively clueless from the
start, I don't do a line length flame, spelling flame, grammar flame,
or .sig flame without helping them as well. That is, I help them at
the same time I educate them. Nobody's perfect, but we can strive
for excellence, not merely feeling good.

Nathan Mates

--
<*> Nathan Mates http://www.ugcs.caltech.edu/~nathan/      <*>
# And he said to them, "To you has been given the secret of the
# Kingdom of God, but for those outside, everything comes in
# parables" Mark 4:11, NRSV